The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) Disney has been stripped of control of Reedy Creek and ordered to repay $700 million in debt and taxes.
-Good start. Now make them reimburse everyone who sat through “Thor: Love and Spooge.”
2) Los Angeles County has removed 1.2 million ineligible voters from the rolls.
-A good start. With that and the outmigration, Kollyfornia is down, what? A good 2 million DemoKKKrats since 2022?
3) So, men really do prefer women after all, even when they are “women?” Men in drag are infiltrating lesbian dating sites.
4) A rather quiet weekend in the peaceful Benghazi-by-the-Lake with only 14 shot, three fatally. Tranquility returns.
5) Another train derailment in Torrance County, New Mexico: no hazardous materials and no passengers and no injuries. (Buttplugs: “Dammit!”)
6) The nation’s largest grid operator has warned of policy-created instability.
7) Our elections are absolutely pure as the wind-driven snow. Inmates at Benghazi-by-the-Lake’s jail are claiming guards are pressuring them to illegally vote in Beetlejuice’s mayoral election.
8) Fraudster Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos has a second baby, hoping birthing will delay a looming 11-year jail sentence.
-I say, put her in now, and throw Anna Sorokin in with her. And Sam Bankman-Fried while yer at it.
9) Joel Kotkin is a solid thinker and a good economist. I don’t think he’s totally right here, but he makes good points that the Davos crowd is far less powerful than many on our side think.
10) The number of competitive congressional districts has declined.
11) A lefty, but one who understands there is a problem: we don’t build anything in America anymore.
12) All GOP hopefuls for 2024 are begging at the Club For Growth Grifter Party in Palm Beach.
Except one. Wanna guess who doesn’t want open borders and globalism?
13) CFO venture capitalist David Sacks: “the corruption in Ukraine is beyond belief.” No, Dave, I think I have a pretty good idea of what it’s like. I just imagine a DemoKKKrat outing, then multiply by 10.
14) Ru Paul’s attack on Trump backfired. Many who had started to “move away” from Trump have come back to him.
15) Mike Tuppence and Ron DeSantis will skip CPAC 2023. So, grassroots input doesn’t matter. Gotcha.
16) Groomer City (San Francisco) is considering paying black residents $5 million each for reparations.
-How soon can these evil Sodoms stay afloat? Satan himself is propping these spoogebuckets up.
17) Florida continues to be a lamp unto our feet: a new bill would levy a $10,000 per instance fine on credit card companies that allow the tracking of gun and ammo sales.
-Muy bueno.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
18) The Fed must crush consumer demand with higher rates to control inflation, says the Bank of Amigo. (“Dere’s too much consumin’ goin’ on out dere”)
19) U.S. durable goods new orders fell 4.5% in January. Oh, Defense capital goods up 25%. The war economy!
20) Jack Daniels’ barrel houses are alleged to be causing a black “whiskey fungus” in a Tennessee community. And here I thought whiskey only rotted your guts.
21) Rutabaga’s offshore wind dreams face rising opposition.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
22) A slain Hong Kong model’s in-laws and ex-husband were detained after body parts were found in the fridge. That’s truly a cold case.
23) Spain has passed a law allowing children to be mutilated without the parents’ consent.
24) I swore I wouldn’t cover these people, but this is too good. Megxit was “surprised and disappointed” that the Ginger Duke “had very little money.”
-Love it. She married this toadstool for the money.
25) Those pesky CIA spooks at it again. A previously unheard interview with Nelson Mandela inflames the theory that U.S. intelligence gave up his location to the Apartheid regime to arrest him in 1962.
-The CIA? Do something like that? Never!!
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
26) This year’s “Blair Witch Project,” “Cocaine Bear,” netted $23 million at the box office—not bad. It was not widely released, and if it had been, it may have beaten “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” last weekend.
27) Meanwhile, the movie “Jesus Revolution” made the top three in the box office last weekend.
28) Scott Adams was dropped by Penguin/Random House for his latest self-help book, but New Kabul will name a Harlem block for this racist hater, Elijah Muhammad, who taught that the “white man is the devil.”
-Nah, no bias here.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
29) Ex New York Mets minor league pitcher Matt Pobereyko was found dead (“died suddenly?”) from a heart attack at the ripe age of 31. But, nahhhh. Not vaxxes.
30) Pfizer admits its new RSV vax for older adults may trigger Guillain-Barre syndrome.
-Just what we need.
AND FINALLY...
31) “Cocaine Bear,” hold my beer! The production company behind “Sharknado” will release “Attack of the Meth Gator” later this summer.
True story: when I was shopping my movie “Rockin’ the Wall,” we went to the American Film Market in Santa Monica, where everyone has a hotel room with their movie posters up, trying to interest studio buyers. We went by one, “Sharktapus: half shark, half octapus, all terror!” We shook our heads. Who would watch this, let alone buy it?
That year I was teaching a college business history class and mentioned this movie. One boy raised his hand: “Oh yeah! I saw that movie.”
AND THAT'S TODAY'S NEWS
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- Larry Schweikart
- Rock drummer
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- NYTimes #1 bestselling author
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Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History, and the new spinoff Wild World of Politics. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @LarrySchweikart and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS
Larry's latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp, is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE
