The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow April 17, 2023

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  • Source: UncoverDC
  • 09/19/2023

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow


1) Wow, peeps, I’m gone a week, and we have a ton of news. So let’s get started with something really important. That’s right: art teachers can’t do nudity anymore?

-A UW-Madison art prof was cited for exposing her boobs to a student. But the student can... ah, never mind. I can’t follow any of this anymore.

2) The Pentagon’s leaks showed Rutabaga has lied and lied about the Uke war.

3) Shocked! The Rutabaga was involved in the FBI raid on Mar-A-Lago.

4) Spoogepistol Brian Kemp, governor of Georgia, is trying to create a separate version of the GOP in that state that will siphon donors away from Trump and MAGA. May he experience an over-urinating cat.

5) Rutabaga has unveiled the toughest-ever car emissions rules in an attempt to destroy gas-powered cars and sparking backlash from the auto industry.

6) In another blow against the Deep State, the Supreme Court, in a 9-0 decision, said individuals can take a constitutional challenge to federal agencies directly to federal courts.

7) The lunatic Transportation Secretary (sometimes) Buttplugs says traffic fatalities occur because of discrimination. Yes. He said that.

-What do you expect of a man who thinks he can breastfeed a baby?

8) The “fine people” at the FascistBI developed plans to spy on Catholics. In another era, this would have resulted in torches and pitchforks.

9) Missouri’s House Republicans voted to defund public libraries after school libraries voted to sue over a ban on “sexually explicit” crap.

10) In Dadeville, Alabama, there is a 90% Black illegitimate birth rate.

11) Good! The Texas Bar has added questions about whether people have been involved in “incivility” or attacks on free speech in wake of the Stanford Reichstag event.

12) A transoid therapist is charged with sexually assaulting autistic kids in Indiana.

13) In peaceful and tranquil Benghazi-by-the-Lake, a “teen takeover” terrorized the city as hundreds of yout ferals destroyed property and attacked tourists. But hey, Benghazi, elect more DemoKKKrats and let’s keep those illegitimacy rates up.

14) Christian conservative Grand Canyon University here in Arizona has seen its enrollment triple in the last 10 years.



15) Wal-Mart has closed four stores in Benghazi-by-the-Lake amid elevated crime rates. Libtoids blame Wal-Mart.

16) From Spiked Online: The Depopulation Bomb will be a doozy when it hits. And it’s a-comin’.

17) Apple Mac shipments plunged 40% in the first quarter.

18) Commercial real estate is the “boa constrictor” that will crush the economy and force the Fed to restart the printing presses.

19) Also, from Confounded Interest, office buildings are in big trouble: vacancy rates hit 20%, and Kyle Bass says offices across America need to be torn down.

20) As referenced above, by using a transoid as a “spokesthingy,” Bud Light’s parent company Budweiser lost $6 billion. And I say, it’s not nearly enough.

21) Bud Light boycotts caught fire everywhere, from small towns to large bars.

22) Meanwhile, Bud, shuddering from the boycott, released its patriotic Clydesdale ad to try to stop the bleeding.



23) Nigeria’s secret police say that the Electoral Commissioner there received a massive bribe to rig the election.

-Shocked! I tell ya.

24) Iran will use video surveillance to identify women not wearing the hijab, and bank accounts of violators will be frozen.

-You know, sorta like Pay Pal.

25) Meanwhile, the fine liberty-loving, frolicking denizens of Afghanistan have banned music, video games, and foreign films.

-Goats remain legal entertainment, however.



26) SpaceX plans to launch its massive rocket, “Starship.” Gee, think there are any politicians we could put in the capsule, you know, for “publicity purposes?”



27) Penguin Random House has altered the “unacceptable prose” of famous author P. G. Wodehouse. Authors everywhere need to make sure such editing authority is in no contract, ever.

28) Disney’s 11th-hour move to evade Gov. Ron DeSantis’s oversight is likely legally void.

29) “Super Mario Bros” movie has hit $500 million globally, becoming the highest-grossing box-office movie of 2023 . . . in ONE WEEKEND.



30) Dr. Peter McCullough, “The Great China Virus Vax Bribe.”

31) U.S. maternal death rates are up sharply.

32) The Lancet commission on why people won’t take the vaxxes utterly failed.



33) Britain’s Got Talent show slammed a “ridiculously dangerous’ stunt that saw a man set himself on fire to solve a Rubik’s cube.

-Personally, I think this would be a good test for a US Supreme Court nominee: set them on fire for as long as it takes them to define a woman.



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Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the  Wild World of History, and the new spinoff Wild World of Politics. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @LarrySchweikart and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS

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