The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow March 27, 2023

  • by:
  • Source: UncoverDC
  • 09/19/2023

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow



1) It took Donald Trump about a month to dispose of Ron DeSantis as a political opponent. DeSantis’s donors and allies question if he’s ready for 2024, and now many operatives say “Trump may be impossible to beat.”

2) The Hill, so take it for what it’s worth, but “DeSantis looks to revamp strategy amid signs of political strain.” What strain? Lemme splain:

COMMENT: I didn’t understand the “DeSanctimonious” moniker at the time. But I do now. Trump understood that RDS was being positioned as a “cleaner, kinder, gentler Trump.” So in a series of criticisms, Trump pulled RDS into the mud (“porn star bribes,” then the U-turn on Ukraine). Trump successfully showed RDS was as vulnerable to “saying outrageous things” as Trump is. Boom. Polls crash for RDS. Mission accomplished for Trump.

3) Now, RDS has taken himself out of the veep position as well.

4) President Trump claims Prosecutor Boast n Bragg has already dropped the case against him.

-I wouldn’t be so sure, Orange Man. Bragg’s entire career is riding on him indicting you for something.

5) The Rutabaga urged Meta (“Meta” means death in Hebrew) to crack down on vax-skeptical content on the “WhatsApp” chat platform. A private platform!

6) Kentucky governor Andy Beshear vetoed a bill to ban minors from sexual mutilation.

-Why are there losers like this anywhere near power in any red state?

7) The House passed a parent's Bill of Rights Act that, of course, won’t get through the Senate.

8) An appellate court decision in New York struck down a “good cause” eviction law in Albany, saying only the state had that power.

-Now property owners statewide have concerns, as they should.

9) A Patriot Day (J6) defendant accused of stealing Boxic’s laptop has received a three-year prison sentence.

-I wonder how many murderers there are on the street who served less time?

10) The TSA chief wants to use biometrics to speed up screening at airports. Dude, just say it: you want us chipped.

11) They are trying to refurbish Jesus Carter’s image before he dies.

-Won’t work. Until Barack Obama and Rutabaga, he was the worst president ever.

12) Pretzel logic: Hoax News Media trying to blame the abortion bans for closing down maternity wards.

-You know, where live babies are brought into this world?

13) More previously undisclosed Patriot Day (J6) footage shows police inciting the crowd.

-Evil, evil, evil.

14) Good. Republicans have forced a totally incompetent FAA nominee to withdraw.

-Now do Buttplugs.

15) Rutabaga now going after air conditioners.

-Evil, evil, evil.



16) NPR was hit with massive layoffs and canceled four podcasts.

-Cancel. Them. All.

17) Oooh, so shrinking food stamp benefits means bad news for retailers now?

-Seems they couldn’t get traction with “ohhh, the poor po.”

18) Gordon Moore, famous for Moore’s Law about the exponential increase in computing power, died at age 94.

19) In Kollyfornia, a bill that would crack down on fentanyl dealers won’t even be heard by the Assembly committee. They are too busy banning air conditioning and wood-burning stoves.

20) Ford is losing big money on electric vehicles.

21) U.S. banks are sitting on $1.7 trillion in unrealized losses.



22) Xi and Pootie-poot are pushing to create a new China-led “international totalitarian order.”

-And what was your first clue?

23) A UN chief says humanity has “broken the water cycle.” Good. Let’s get that desalinization going, as we should have 30 years ago.

24) The African power grid collapse is spreading.

-Take one part unstable governments/dictatorships, add socialism, multiply by an international West-created energy crisis, and voila.

25) Japan’s prime minister wouldn’t meet with the ChiCom ambassador. Yikes. 1930s anyone?

26) Again, these kinds of stories are slowly leaking out from the Hoax News media: Ukes are running out of men.

27) A Canadian 23-year-old “crypto king” was kidnapped and tortured after blowing $23 million on a glam lifestyle as his company went bankrupt.

28) End times stuff, as an archbishop in the Church of Sweden screams “Allahu akbar” and says Muhammad is a prophet.

29) Here’s the real “climate crisis” that went unnoticed. On March 12, there was a massive solar eruption.

-Thank God it happened on the far side of the sun, or we wouldn’t be having any conversations involving electricity now.



30) “Kang” (Jonathan Majors) was arrested in a domestic dispute; his girlfriend alleged strangulation and assault.

31) Men suddenly feel the pull of pilates.

(Mrs. LS is an all-star at this, having completed two different 1,000 class challenges in two different states.)

32) A Powerball winner who got a record $2 billion from a gas station ticket bought a second Kollyfornia mansion for $4 million after purchasing a $25 million Hollywood Hills complex.

-Does someone want to tell him that he will owe at least $600 million in federal taxes alone? Kollyfornia will take the rest.

33) A Mississippi meteorologist was fired after, during a story about rapper Snoop Dog, repeated his phrase, “Fo shizzle, my nizzle.”

-Now, “nizzle” supposedly is slang for the n-word, but what if you say “the n-word.” Isn’t that slang for the n-word? I’m puzzled, my nuzzle.

34) Activists say, Heather Rae, who claims to be a Native American, is a fake.

-I’m a native American. I was born here. I ain’t no fake.



35) Now, we are getting reports of visual problems resulting from the China Virus vax.

36) A new study about the China Virus in Texas showed that a lack of early home treatment contributed to deaths and that none of the deaths that occurred were prevented by the vax.

37) Looks like the “sudden deaths” finally made news, especially as BlackRock fund manager Edward Dowd has brought attention to the 40% mortality spikes in 2021.

38) Another great ruling by the 5th Circuit in a near 2:1 majority striking down Rutabaga’s vax mandate for federal employees.

39) How did two non-virologist, non-medical doctor anal scatterpimples end up dictating masking to all of America? Cuz we let them.



40) Ultra-exclusive new gyms that charge over $2700 a month force prospective members to attend interviews and undergo medical examinations.

-Jeez. Remember this guy? Fitness was so much simpler then.

Jack Lalanne



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