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The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow March 24, 2023

  • by:
  • Source: UncoverDC
  • 09/19/2023

The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow

 

IN POLITICAL NEWS

1) The thoroughly evil and corrupt FascistBI has been paying Patriot Day (J6) witnesses to provide the defense’s trial strategy to Grand Moff Tarkin’s Department of INJustice.

2) Boo hoo. The Hill whines that Boast ‘n’ Bragg’s pursuit of Trump may “doom Ukraine” as it is “hyperpartisan” and the danger is “fallout” from conservatives abandoning the Ukes.

-Psst. Hill. They’re already gone.

3) One day after I compared Ron DeSantis’s campaign to that of Ted Cruz’s in 2016 . . . an RDS-aligned PAC staffed up and brought on Cruz’s campaign manager.

-Can Yeb’s staff be far behind?

4) Kari Lake had a massive win when the Arizona Supremes sent the most important part of her lawsuit—signature matches—back to the trial court.

https://www.uncoverdc.com/2022/10/18/focus-on-the-signatures/[/embed]

5) President Trump has told aides he wants to be handcuffed and perp-walked to his possible arraignment.

-Or, to quote Admiral Ackbar to the Deep State: “It’s a trap.”

6) Good. Congressman Matt Gaetz has boosted a House effort to dissolve the Department of UnEducation.

-At the very least, it should be called the Department of Spreading Stupidity.

7) This is a few days old, but I wanted to marinate on it for a while: President Trump has unveiled a sweeping plan to “shatter the Deep State.” It includes an executive order to fire rogue bureaucrats, reform the FISA court, and the establishment of the equivalent of a Church Committee to publish all documents on Deep State spying, a crackdown on leakers, including criminal charges, making IG offices separate from the departments they oversee, an independent auditing system of the intel agencies, and relocation of thousands of jobs outside D.C.

-These are brilliant and sensible, and I might even add a few more.

8) Thus, perhaps smelling the smoke, the GAO will investigate a dubious surveillance process used by the FascistBI called “assessments,” where they can just go after groups or individuals without evidence.

-There is no department in the entire federal government more evil and corrupt than the FascistBI.

9) The useless warmongering slabsnacker NRO, its spoogefilled pages sticking together, says another Trump term would be “bonkers.”

-Do you know what's bonkers? Sending endless American money to a part of Russia that Russia is reclaiming so that a corrupt Green Screen Zelensky can continue laundering money for the seditious analglands that inhabit the presidency and Congress.

10) The First Drapery, the Senior Skank, is “disappointed” that men haven’t backed women’s rights.

-Well, Drapes, when women start backing women’s rights and telling transoid MEN they ain’t women, maybe we will.

11) Can we call it an invasion now? Yep.

12) Well, if they say so. Physicists have manipulated “quantum light” for the first time and say it’s a really, really big deal.

-So, does this mean Ant-Man’s Quantumania is real?

13) Rutabaga’s approval has dipped to 38%. About 38 points too high.

14) The Indianapolis armed civilian who stopped the Greenwood Mall shooter was named citizen of the year.

-They need to rename this the Kyle Rittenhouse Award for Stopping Criminal Spoogecakes.

15) Ex-House “Russiagate” investigator Kash Patel has sued Politico over impeachment lies.

-Good. Sue their little gonads off.

 

IN ECONOMIC NEWS

16)  Panera, the Carb House of Death, will let you pay using Amazon’s palm-scanning Mark of the Beast tech.

17) Silicon Valley Bank’s loans to officers, directors, and principal shareholders tripled to $219 million just months before its collapse: Fed Reserve boss in Groomer City blasted for missing signs (like, deliberately?)

18) Continued layoffs in Kollyfornia, especially Silicon Valley.

https://wolfstreet.com/2023/03/23/layoffs-in-california-stall-employment-growth-san-francisco-and-silicon-valley-hardest-hit/

 

IN HOLY GHOST NEWS

19) Gunmen entered a Missouri church, whereupon the (former cop) pastor began to pray for them. One of the men dropped his gun as the prayer started; the assailants lowered their heads. No one was injured.

 

IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS

20) India has given itself the mission to lead the “Global South” into the next era of communications.

 

IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

21) It took Pootie-poot to slap sense into the NHL, as the Chicago Blackhawks won’t wear homosexual pride warmups due to their Russian defenseman, whom it would place in violation of a Russian law against promoting homosexual clattertrap.

22) Disney made a big move, firing a leading wokester, Victoria Alonso, who was destroying the company. More to come?

23) The SEC has charged eight celebrities, including Lindsay Lohan, in connection with crypto promotions. You know. Important stuff, unlike handing over tech and national secrets to the ChiComs.

24) A former singer for Parliament/Funkadelic, Clarence “Fuzzy” Haskins, has died at 81.

 

IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS

25) Another pilot had to “step in” because a pilot had a medical emergency, certainly not related to the vax. Right?

https://viewfromthewing.com/another-airlines-pilot-stepped-in-on-southwest-flight-when-member-of-cockpit-crew-fell-ill/

 

 

AND FINALLY...

26) Two Virginia inmates tunneled out of jail with a toothbrush to go seven miles to an IHOP.

-Reportedly, the inmates, Harold and Kumar, were searching for a White Castle but couldn’t wait any longer.

https://breaking911.com/2-virginia-inmates-tunnel-out-of-jail-with-a-toothbrush-and-travel-7-miles-to-go-to-ihop-cops-said/

AND THAT'S TODAY'S NEWS

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Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot's History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the  Wild World of History, and the new spinoff Wild World of Politics. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @LarrySchweikart and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS

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