The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) A reporter slathered on the praise of the Demented Pervert yesterday in a press conference trying to ask why he was so stupid, as he “has the most foreign policy experience of any president ever.”
-Except, of course, for all the rest. (Hint: President John Quincy Adams was a minister to Russia as a teenager.
2) A new Harvard/Harris poll has shown Trump would trounce the Rutabaga by six points, beat Kampuchea Harris by 11, and has a six-point lead for Republicans in the generic House poll.
3) Biteme’s special assistant sent the oil genius, Hunter Biteme, daily intel briefs. Cuz, you know, he has a national security need to know.
4) Trump is utterly unafraid of anyone. He has called on Pootie-poot to release info on Hunter Biteme’s dealings with oligarchs.
5) Meanwhile the tax probe against Hunter Biteme has picked up steam as prosecutors have interviewed associates about foreign income and his $142,000 sports car.
6) While First Amendment issues are yet to be assessed, BLM can be sued for starting riots.
7) . . . while Mark Zuckerberg has been sued in Wisconsin for bribery of election officials by turning them into a DemoKKKrat get-out-the-vote operation.
8) The Modern Language Association—once a bastion of academic hiring—has seen college job openings shrink by half—and only half of those were tenure track positions. It is now a conference of “desolation,” virtually no attendance, and filled with a sense the profession is “endangered.”
9) Leftist Whackadoodles have built a shadow organization called “Real Voices Media”. An online network to strike during election time.
10) Meanwhile, in the vanguard state of Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis has signed a bill imposing school board term limits and oversight of classrooms and materials.
11) Even MSNBC admits polling is bleak for DemoKKKrats, especially the 17-point gap in enthusiasm.
12) And even worse, nearly three-quarters of the county (71%) now say the country is headed in the wrong direction.
13) Biteme’s staffer said he watched the confirmation hearing of Jumpin’ Jackson Flash . . . before he said he hadn’t.
14) Jeff Bezos’ ex-wife MacKenzie Scott gave away $3.9 billion to, among others, Planned Parenthood.
-Can’t have babies messing up the planet.
15) A Patriot Day (January 6) defendant has alleged coercion by the FBI and wants his confession tossed.
16) Looking at a massive 2024 loss, DemoKKKrats have started to restructure their nominating process and remove Iowa’s “first-in-the-nation” status in favor of states with bigger black populations.
17) Kollyfornia State U has permanently abandoned standard testing. Now it’s all about race, sex, and surgery.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
18) The dollar plunged 10% against the ruble after the latest round of positive peace talks in Ukraine.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
19) The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences “condemns” Will Smith and has started a “formal review” of the Oscar event in which he slapped comedian Chris Rock like a little girl.
-Wait, someone could make a movie of that.
20) Will Smith has issued an apology to you, Chris. “I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed. . . . there is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness.” Rock declined to press charges.
-Word is he demanded 2 points on the gross of “King John.”
21) Speaking of the Oscars, although viewership rose, it was still the second worst-ever show in history.
22) New York Governor Kathy Hochul has promised $600 million in taxpayer dollars for a new Buffalo Bills stadium.
-Shouldn’t they win at least one Super Bowl first?
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
23) South Africa and other nations have advanced measures to require biometric data to own a phone. You know, to “prevent fraud.”
-Or force you to get a vax under certain circumstances like an “emergency.”
24) Russian-Ukraine peace talks end with negotiator calling them “constructive.”
25) As if to confirm, Russia signaled its intent to cut back operations around Kiev and Chernihiv after positive talks.
26) China has developed plans for “Doomsday trains” that could shift nuke missiles around the country.
-Psst: Jesus Carter tried that with the MX missile in the 1970s and concluded it wouldn’t work. But go right ahead.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
27) . . . wait! For the first time, ever . . . I have NO major China Virus news stories.
-This is called a return to normalcy, to paraphrase President Warren Harding.
28) And finally, researchers found that playing golf could cut your risk of dementia by a third.
-Unfortunately, they also found that playing golf badly increased your risk of a coronary by 300%.
PS: President Trump hit a hole-in-one this week, so no worries there.
45 picking up his hole-in-one on Saturday. pic.twitter.com/dzTdWAdkWe
— Taylor Budowich (@TayFromCA) March 28, 2022
And that’s Today’s News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot’s History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr at @OtherWalls and SOON on TruthSocial!