The News of Today is the History of Tomorrow
IN POLITICAL NEWS
1) More left-wing analysis admitting the Rutabaga is destroying the country—but of course, it’s not his fault. The “feeling lately is that he just can’t catch a break.”
-This is what passes for journalism these days, folks. Same story, BTW, says Biteme may let Ron Klain go, indicating Kampuchea Harris is still along for the ride.
2) Supreme Court officials have escalated the search for the leaker. Clerks looking at hiring outside council. Not necessary. Just give up the rat.
3) The Brennan Center for Justice says emergency powers granted to presidents are unconstitutional.
4) Blustering Bill Barrstool, now that he can’t be held responsible for actually doing anything, says that Sloth Durham has uncovered “seditious” activity.
-Back to your stool, Barrstool.
5) Another Arkanicide: Ashley Haynes, an advisor to Slick who introduced him to Epstein (who didn’t kill himself) found drowned in a river tied to a concrete block.
I’m sure this will be ruled a “soooo-eeee-cide.”
6) In the peaceful and tranquil borough called Benghazi-by-the-Lake, Beetlejuice presided over a Memorial Day weekend in which merely 52 people were shot and only 10 killed.
7) Sloth Durham’s case against the low-level lawyer Michael Sussmann fell apart as Sussmann was acquitted by a D.C. jury.
-Shocked! Shocked, I tell ya!
8) Biteme and the Senior Skank argue via text messages to hide their disagreements from the Secret Service. And also to hide the Rutabaga’s senility.
9) The Uvalde school district police chief has stopped cooperating with the Texas probe into his actions.
10) Good news of the day: the North Carolina preschool teacher who used transoid and pregnant-man flashcards for three-year-olds has resigned.
IN ECONOMIC NEWS
11) Do the banks know something we don’t? They are parking a record amount of money with the Fed.
12) Whole Paycheck, er, Foods has left Englewood, a safe suburb of the beautiful and tranquil Benghazi-by-the-Lake.
13) The Case-Shiller Home Price Index rapidly escalated by 20% thanks to continued Fed laxity in dealing with inflation.
14) The brilliant former Fed Head Janet Screamin’ & Yellin, admits she “was wrong” about inflation and “didn’t fully understand” supply bottlenecks. Great. This was the person heading our economy.
15) Biteme rolls out a three-part plan to fight inflation, including making goods more affordable, especially high gas prices, yet this buffoon doesn’t even understand why gas prices are high.
16) Coles supermarket will now give transoids an extra 10 days’ leave. Why? To get as Rush Limbaugh called it an “addadictomy?”
17) A rail crisis is threatening America’s farmers.
IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS
18) Apparently it isn’t only American rappers who are routinely killed: Indian rapper Sidhu Moose Wala was shot dead.
19) European inflation now soars to an average of 8.1%
20) According to the Asia Times, the economy “confuses the West” about how far to go in Ukraine.
-An actual headline.
IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS
21) Mick Jagger and Keith Richards hit a flamenco party in Madrid, where they were mistaken for Pablo Casals and Antoni Gaudi, both long dead.
IN CHINA VIRUS NEWS
22) A whistleblower’s lawyer says that (for now) Pfizer got away with vax fraud cuz the gubment was a conspirator.
23) The New York Times tortures the logic til it screams the proper answer. Masks “work,” but the mandates haven’t.
-No, dill wads, neither work.
24) And finally, the “lost city of Zakhiku” has resurfaced as ruins of a 3,400-year-old settlement appeared in an Iraqi reservoir following a drought.
-Apparently, there is evidence both Mick Jagger and Keith Richards partied there, too.
And that’s Today’s News
Larry Schweikart is the co-author with Michael Allen of the NYTimes #1 bestseller, A Patriot’s History of the United States, and is the founder of the history curriculum site, the Wild World of History. Larry can be found at Substack under Larry Schweikart and, for as long as they allow him, at Twitter @WallsOther and on Gettr @OtherWalls and on TruthSocial @CyberneticsLS
Larry’s latest book, Dragonslayers: Six Presidents and their War with the Swamp is now available wherever books are sold! You can listen to his interview with Tracy Beanz on Dark to Light HERE